Happy Hour Anyone?

I’ve begun to notice that my 13-year old senior dog is eating earlier and earlier.

He used to eat dinner at 5:00 p.m. — but over the last few weeks, through insistent whining and vocalizing, we’ve moved dinner time to 4:00 o’clock.

Who Could Stand the Crying? 

So what’s the big deal? Who cares when the dog eats?

Certainly not me. Frankly, I wouldn’t mind eating dinner at 4:00 p.m. but I’ve been told that I’m too young. Only the elderly eat so early. And since I certainly don’t want to be judged as elderly, I shrug and go along.

But I’m Hungry

So what I’d really like to know is — what does age have to do with the time of day when you get hungry? Someone please answer me that.

Besides, it turns out that 4:00 p.m. is now designated as Happy Hour. A chic, sophisticated concept, created by the Hospitality industry. Discounted bites and liquor. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s the time when adults gather in the late afternoon to drink. A prelude, if you will, to the real show. That little thing I call dinner.

Teetotaler

I don’t really drink. Maybe a martini now and then. A glass of wine to be polite. Champagne on special occasions. It just isn’t my thing. Remember — I’m the one who is hungry.

But Phoenix is ripe with all sorts of restaurants catering to this Happy Hour concept. I suspect more than one cheapskate has figured it out — loading up on discounted food — making that social security check stretch. But when we go — I don’t see those folks. No walkers or canes. No wheelchairs. Only young hipsters — upscale adults — gathering about, smartly dressed,  engaged in witty repartee. The food seems to be of secondary importance. The focus is on the drinks.

Add Live Music and Now I Can’t Hear Myself Chew

The way I see it, Happy Hours are perfect for getting my meal time moved to 4:00 o’clock. No one seems to notice that I’m even eating. They’re all too busy oohing and aahing over this or that cocktail while I’m eyeing the food — trying to determine how many  plates I need to order to create a decent-sized meal.

You can’t fool me. Happy Hour is just the modern version of an Early Bird Special. Let the others drink to their hearts content. I’m eating dinner.