White Tube Socks

I’ve been told that wearing white tube socks is passé. And if the crowd at the gym is any indication, that’s certainly true. Black is the new white. So I bought some black no-show socks. The ones you can’t see when you put on your sneakers. And I gathered up all my old white tube socks with the intent of sending them off to a friend who said he uses them when he dusts. Sock puppets, I get. Dusting? Not so much.

Slippage

No sooner was I on the elliptical at the gym then one of my new socks started to slip. Half-way through the workout—it had crept down to the bottom of my foot, eventually balling up under my heel.

Don’t reach down?

There have been moments when I’ve nearly lost my balance on the elliptical due to a minor distraction. Straining to make out a CNN headline on the flat screen television mounted high above the gym. Spotting an attractive passerby and allowing my eye to linger too long. Listening to Eydie Gorme on my iPod. She may be dead and buried but she can sure belt out a tune. Swinging your arms to and fro as she hits a high note can be dangerous. It’s best to listen from a seated position.

Safety first

So, I waited till the workout was over and headed to the locker room to remove my sneaker and that pesky sock. That’s when I noticed the residue. Black fuzz buried deep in the corner of my toenail.  Not a good look.

You guessed it

So I decided to keep the white tube socks. I mean really—who cares what I wear on my feet when I work out? It’s no one else’s business. Besides, those white tube socks look so darn good with my summer sandals.