The Traveling Big Head Show Coming to a Theatre Near You

It happened again. We have tickets to a show. We’re comfortably seated with a great view of the stage. And then, just before the lights dim, the giant head arrives. We’re not disappointed. We know the giant head. It follows us from theatre to theatre, forever blocking our view.

Tall Men

When God made tall men, he should have made adjustable seats. Especially if the big galoot hasn’t learned to slouch. Personally, I try to sit on my lower back, thrusting my shoulders forward and down. It takes inches off. It’s awkward but courteous. And my chiropractor says it’s done wonders for his bank account.

The Book of Mormon

I’ve not seen this show on Broadway. Oh yes. I was in the theatre for the performance. Sitting behind a stocky gentleman. Let’s call him Moose. Moose once played college football.  His neck—the size of a tree trunk. His ears stuck out. I should have saved my money and bought the cast album. Because that’s how I experienced the show. A concert in a darkened room.

Kinky Boots

Girl, she’s got some wild boots! At least, that’s what I heard. This time, we were in London sitting in the stalls. That’s England’s answer to ground level seating. I shifted back and forth in rhythm to the guy in front who kept leaning this way and that. The show should have been called Kinky Boat. At the end, I felt seasick.

What’s a Fella to Do?

Yes. I know. There are worse things in life. But when you pay good money for theatre tickets, you hope to actually see the show. Come to think of it—who designed those itty bitty seats? Does anyone’s tush really fit in them?  The velvet almost makes it impossible to shift about. And what are you supposed to do with your knees? All good thoughts to occupy your mind the next time the big head shows-up. And he will. He hasn’t missed a performance yet!