But I Don’t Like Walking

Some people are fierce. They hike, run, bike—and push their limits. And then some people are more like me. They don’t even like to walk. Now, I’m not talking about the kind of walking that takes you from the sofa to the refrigerator. I do that often enough and with ease. I’m talking about the kind of walking that entails serious mileage. Why would anyone want to do that if they own a car? Simple answer: Covid-19. Gosh, this pandemic is really getting on my last nerve.

Gym

Yes, I have a favorite gym. But now, I’m staying away. This means it’s important to find a substitute to burn off the calories from the cookies I’m eating to get through the pandemic. Cookies are my drug of choice. If you have to default to sugar, my favorite is chocolate chip. Not that I need a pandemic to gorge on cookies. Chewing is just a great way to soothe yourself. Babies do it. Watch them go to town on a pacifier. Puppies do it. Chew sticks make great puppy gifts. And some grown men like cookies. But then, doesn’t everyone?

Meaningful Exercise

Weight Watchers recommends walking. One, two, or three miles. I hate it, even though I’m listening to my favorite podcast. Four, five, or six miles. Someone save me. Can I please just call an Uber? Or maybe, an ambulance? My feet are killing me. My hips ache. And that guy on a racing bicycle nearly ran me down. There’s got to be a better way to exercise when you don’t own gym equipment. Where the heck is Jack LaLanne when you need him? Oh right. Never mind.

Shut Up and Keep Walking

So with Thanksgiving upon us, it’s necessary to just keep moving. Turkey may be a healthy choice, but not when paired with all those sides. And let’s face it. The sides make the meal. As far as I’m concerned, they can nix the dry bird. But don’t screw with the mash potatoes. Or yams. Or gravy. But I will trade the green bean casserole for a serving of pumpkin pie. Two dollops of whipped cream, please.

Wishing You the Best

So here’s to you and your family. I wish you the best of the Thanksgiving holiday. Soon, this challenging year will be behind us. Next year will be better. And maybe then, we’ll all enjoy the holidays as one big happy family. Wouldn’t that be nice? And no more walking. We’ll be back at the gym where we belong. Out of the streets. Away from the bicyclists. Hopefully, sharing cookies.