Zoom: When Can We Go Back to Face-to-Face Meetings?

I’ve participated in a lot of Zoom meetings over the past twelve months. Mostly, professional meetings with other writers. And though it’s a great way to connect, there is a downside. For one, Zoom projects your “live” image on the screen. This means you’re forced to look at yourself. And if the meeting goes on for an hour or more, that’s a lot of camera time. Of course, you can always change the viewing mode from “group” to “speaker”. But that doesn’t really help. Somehow, my eye always manages to track back to the little box with my name on it. Oh! There I am. The one slouching.

So How Do I Look?

By now, I should know the answer. Zoom is like sitting in front of a mirror. For some, that might be a good thing. For me? Not so much. And why would anyone ever want to do that? Well, it’s probably fine for the world’s most beautiful people. But none of them ever pops in on the screen when I hit “join with video”.  Not Brad Pitt. Not Brad Paisley. Not Bradley Cooper. Nope. Just me. Brad Graber. My face. And let me tell you—I can use a little bit of sun.

Is This The Right Angle?

There’s supposedly a lot you can do to improve the way you look on Zoom. Something about lighting and placement of the camera. I don’t bother with those details. Instead, I wonder if I have a good side. So I shift about, adjusting my laptop to try to get just the right angle. My grandmother used to say that some people look better from a distance. This makes me wonder if I should set my laptop on the other side of the room.  Hmm. Now there’s a thought.

Lift Your Head

I’ve noticed my head drooping halfway through any Zoom session. My mouth hangs open as if I’m about to ask a question. I’m not. I’m just getting drowsy. Surely no one would object if I took a snooze with my eyes open. Or would they? Instead, I blink hard and struggle to stay awake. It might be age—but I say it’s the Zoom Glow. Zoom is zooming me out. Like hypnosis. Did someone just ask me to quack like a duck? If they did, I probably would.

Fellow Zoomers

I’ve been impressed by my fellow Zoomers. Especially the women. They all look wonderful from my side of the desk. That is—when I’m not busy staring at myself. The women have particularly excellent posture. And amazing poise and manner. During one Zoom session, a pervert commandeered the screen. The Zoom was hacked. And for a minute or two, we were all shocked to watch an adult man do very adult things. Modesty prevents me from going into further detail.  Let’s just say that when I was a kid living in New York City, flashers were spotted around town. Now, they’ve upped their game. Welcome to the virtual world.

Now for Something Extra

This week we’re doing a special .99 cent ebook Amazon promotion for After the Fall through April 9th. If you haven’t had a chance to grab a copy of the ebook, this would be the time. And the good news is that the ebook has hit Amazon’s Best Seller List landing in the #10 spot. Of course, those rankings change by the moment. But I took a picture of it anyway. And finally, I may be a bit late, but I’d like to wish you and your family a Happy Easter and Passover. May we all gather together in a huge celebration when the pandemic is finally over. We can do it on Zoom!