Whimsical Observations on Life Archives | Brad Graber | The Intersect

The Things We Can’t Hear…And Those We Can!

Silence may be golden, but being deaf is not for the faint of heart. Lately, I’ve been struggling with my hearing, unsure if it will ever return to the level it was before I had that little tumor in my right ear removed. Now I know that my hearing is improving. For one thing, I no longer jump every time Jeff appears. That’s good. There’s nothing worse than reacting to your loved one as if they are a stranger who just broke into your home. And though I still can’t hear him perfectly, it must be better. I’m no longer constantly saying what every time he speaks. Perhaps I’ve just begun to fill in the blanks. After thirty-four years together, what could he say that I haven’t already heard before? Not much, I hope. Or maybe, I’ve given up. After all, when you live with someone, sometimes they’re just muttering to themselves, commenting on the weather, or something innocuous. And if you could hear them, you’d probably let most of that slide on by. Let’s hope if the house was on fire, or something equally catastrophic, he’d be more animated trudging past me in the morning.

Am I Disabled?

Being deaf in my left ear since I was a child, I wasn’t raised with the notion that I was disabled. After all, I heard perfectly well with my good ear as long as you were standing within earshot and I knew you were talking to me. But now with the diminished hearing in that one good ear, life has changed, and I guess that is how it eventually goes for all of us. Live long enough and the parts may not work as well. For some, it might be a knee, hip, disc, or even the eyes. For others, it might be a battle with cancer. For me, it’s an ear. And I’m certainly not alone. Lately, I’ve been counting hearing aids. A lot of adults wear them. So this disability is fixable. Still, I can’t say I feel good about the experience. Is it the hearing or the fact of getting older? Ahh. Another topic for another blog.

Hearing Aids

Up until now, Jeff has been my main hearing aid. Doctor visits have required his presence. Even an ENT’s office is amazingly unaware that deaf patients are struggling to hear. It’s not uncommon for a medical assistant to look away when talking to you. Or for a doctor to fail to raise his voice. Fortunately, Jeff can hear it all. That’s been a blessing. And I’m back to lip reading. I’m not great at it, but I’m practicing. Oh. And I just got a hearing aid. That’s been a lifesaver. I can’t understand why some people refuse to wear it. That said, I must admit that my ear can sometimes hurt after a few hours of wearing it. Men! We’re made of spit and polish.

Other Noises

Funny enough, despite my diminished hearing, there are still some sounds that I can hear quite well. Like that jiggling noise coming from my car’s dashboard. What the hell is it? A marble rolling around? A loose screw? And why can’t a mechanic find and fix it? And I can hear the beeping of the dishwasher when it’s finished. And that is a few rooms away. That darn beeping continues until someone gets up and turns the dishwasher off. So far, it’s been a battle of wills in our house. Because whoever turns the dishwasher off has to empty it. And no one wants that job!

Now for Something a Little Extra!

This month, we’re participating in an Emotional Connections in Women’s Fiction promotion. It’s a great opportunity to grab a free ebook of my second novel After the Fall and check out the works of over thirty other authors. I hope you’ll take a moment to review the promotion. Until we meet again, have a great September!

And the Scale Says…

Lately, I’ve been weighing myself, and I must say, like smoking, overeating, or picking your nose in public, watching the scale has become a bad habit. Something that I wouldn’t recommend anyone start. Because once you start, it’s hard to look away as the numbers bounce about before settling on the latest reading. And just like in Vegas at the roulette table, no matter what number pops up, you’re bound to be disappointed. Because the only reason why you bought a scale in the first place was that the doctor (damn him) wanted to be sure that with your leaky heart valve, you weren’t retaining water. But shouldn’t retaining water be good if you live in the desert? It seems to work for camels. Alas, people are not camels and with a leaky heart valve, one must follow the cardiologist’s recommendations. So what has been a slight heart murmur for years has now progressed to the next stage of concern, a reminder that all minor ailments in your youth are bound to progress (God willing that you live long enough) into something more ominous given time.

Back to the Scale

So, exactly how much do I weigh? Good question. The best I can tell, it depends on the time of day. Right out of bed, I’m the lightest. But then, I’m barefoot and stripped to the waist. Still, I am wearing a pair of eyeglasses, and since I’m extremely near-sided, those Coke bottle lenses must count for some added weight. But without the glasses, I couldn’t see the reading, never mind the scale. So, eyeglasses and all, I balance precariously hoping my two feet are planted correctly, and wondering, despite the obvious demands of gravity, if my full weight is on the scale. Yes, I know. That makes no sense. But I long for accuracy. Even before my first cup of coffee, scale thinking is taking over.

Log It!

It isn’t enough to own a scale. Now, I must also record my weight. Why? Mostly because I have a terrible memory. But primarily to keep a record. Am I on a diet? Well, I wasn’t until I started weighing myself. Suddenly, I am. A diet that my doctor hasn’t prescribed. A diet that eliminates excess sugar. A decision that I made so that I don’t die young. What do you mean, it’s too late? No matter how leaky my valve might be, I still feel young. Full of vim and vigor. I still work out. Go to the gym regularly. So, in the spirit of good health, I’ve decided to say no to candy, cookies, and cake. Nothing processed. Goodbye, chocolate brownies. Tata, Snickers. I’ll always love you, Ghiradlelli. But now, our time together has ended. Sigh. Isn’t it great growing older?

What Time Is It?

Hidden in the corner of the bathroom, the scale speaks to me. How much do I weigh now? Has the number changed since I ate breakfast? Do I weigh less after walking the neighborhood? And so, I pop off my shoes and step aboard the weight ride. Where are we headed? Skinny Town where Twiggy remains ever svelte or the Pudge Factory where Twinkies dance in the streets. The scale has only been in my house for six days and already I’m thinking about donating it to a worthy charity. I never realized one’s weight could fluctuate so much throughout the day. And why, for God’s sake, would anyone not under a doctor’s care ever wonder how much they weigh? After all, it’s just a number.

Can I Get Over this New Obsession?

Sure, I can. It’ll just take time. Meanwhile, I have a new blood pressure cuff waiting for me. I haven’t opened the box yet. But I can’t wait. Toys for the older man! Oh boy. Getting older can be fun. And so informative. Can an Apple watch be too far off in my future? In the meantime, I will practice my new cooking skills: cauliflower pizza, broccoli omelets, and lentil pancakes. Healthier meals are possible but they’ll never replace chocolate peanut butter cups. Farewell, Duncan Hines. I’ll miss you, Sara Lee. Don’t pine for me, Betty Crocker. You’ll always have a place in my heart. But for now, I’m fine with carrots and celery sticks. Don’t you love crunchy things?

And Now for Something a Little Extra!

We’re participating in a Summer is for Women’s Fiction promotion. It’s a great time to check out a variety of authors and grab a copy of my latest novel Boca by Moonlight. Please take a few moments to check out the promotion. And be sure to enjoy the rest of the month!

Say, I Do!

There’s nothing like a family wedding to bring out the need to raid one’s closet for appropriate attire. In our house, we’re a casual duo. Jeans without sneakers is a dressy night out. So, you can imagine the activity when a wedding invitation arrived that requested formal attire. We immediately Googled to find out what that meant for men. Do we have to wear tuxedos? Oh, good. Dark suits would suffice. But wait. The last time I wore a dark suit was in 2019 when I attended my nephew’s wedding. And that suit wasn’t new then. Fortunately, men’s styles don’t change much. Lapels may widen and narrow. Jacket lengths dip and rise. But no one is expecting us to show up in something cutting-edge like Ryan Gosling wore in Barbie. That would just be silly. Surely, I could wear the same suit I’ve owned since Noah unloaded the ark. But would it still fit? Why not? I work out. I eat right. It’s possible.

Trust Me. It’s Not Possible.

In just a few short years, my suit has shrunk. Not the jacket. That still fits perfectly. My arms aren’t any longer. Surprising, considering that I like to hang on a chin-up bar at the gym (it relieves tightness in my shoulders). As for the pants, well, just between us, my dry cleaner is lucky I never sued. The pants have lost at least an inch around the circumference. And yes, I could close them (barely). I’d be fine for standing around, but what if I wanted to sit down? I’m not sure I could do it. And god forbid the top button popped off. I might severely injure someone in the direct line of fire.

Cookies, Cake, and Candy. Yum.

Let’s face it. The years of Covid have been tough on the old waistline. Yes, I admit to the occasional slice of cake. And yes, I’m a sucker for Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut chocolate bar. Doesn’t the fruit make it a healthier choice? And how could I pass on Whole Foods chocolate chip cookies? Oh, who am I kidding? Anyone’s chocolate chip cookies are good. Even the bad ones.

Off to the Tailor.

I just wish I didn’t have to see the look on the tailor’s face when he adjusts the waistline. Maybe I’m projecting, but I think he’ll be genuinely disappointed in me. Like I forgot to share all my tasty treats with him. I just hope he leaves me enough room to devour the box of Valentine’s candy still sitting in the closet. I’m partial to Sees. But then, I’d never turn down Ghiradelli. Heck, who am I kidding? If it’s chocolate, I’m always willing to give it a taste. And if you mix it with peanut butter, I might even taste it twice!

And Now for Something a Little Extra!

My new novel Friends for A Season is on schedule for a late 2024 release date. It’s an intergenerational story between an older woman and a college student, each struggling to cope with life’s challenges. In the meantime, if you haven’t had a chance to check out my debut novel, The Intersect, here are two free sample chapters from the ebook. Grab it here. And have a great February!

Is Disappointment Just A Part of Life?

November 11, 2023
Brad Graber
Growing Older, Whimsical Observations on Life

For those of you who’ve been reading my blog, you know that last month I had surgery on my right ear to remove a tumor that had rendered me totally deaf. I was already deaf in my left as a result of a childhood illness. The doctor had promised a complete recovery—and that my hearing would be “better than ever before”. But what he didn’t say at the time was that it would take three months for the hearing in my right ear to fully return. On the bright side, I can hear now. But I’m only at 50% of my former hearing. I guess sometimes, our expectations exceed what nature has planned. Of course, it makes sense that my ear would need time to heal. And I’m certainly grateful we live in a world where this kind of surgery can be done. But to be honest, the disappointment over the immediate results has sent me into a funk. And I’m sure that I’m not the only patient who ever went through a procedure hoping to be quickly back to 100% once it was over.

Buck Up

You’d think it would be hard to wallow in self-pity when you’ve had such a good life. Well, take it from me. It’s not hard. That said, there are things I’ve learned through all this, and so, in the spirit of sharing, I thought I’d pass them along:

One way to view a personal struggle is to consider it a character-building moment. How we manage through the experience says a lot about who we are. You can choose to handle it well or poorly. I assure you, handling it poorly doesn’t make anyone feel any better. Certainly not you, and definitely not your family.
When frustrated, it’s not a bad idea to challenge yourself to a game. For me, I’ve searched for other ways to say “what”—a word I say a lot these days. So far, I’ve come up with “excuse me”, “pardon”, and when I’m in the mood to laugh, “hey” with a palm held up to my ear like an old codger. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know.
Everyone has their problems. But if you’re lucky, when you face a challenge, others will jump in and share it with you. I’ve been lucky. So many people have gone out of their way to wish me well. Those kind words have meant a lot.
When it comes to your health, you have to be your own best advocate. Sadly, I allowed my hearing loss to go on way too long before finally connecting with a surgeon. Had I pressed for a CT Scan sooner, the tumor would have been found earlier. Live and learn.
Every day is a gift. But that gift can either be a lump of coal or a lovely bouquet. It all depends on what you’re expecting. So try, if you can, to remain positive. I hear it’s worth the effort.

And Now, Something Extra!

This month, I thought I’d share a video of Gilda Radner as Emily Litella from Saturday Night Live. Emily always seemed to get everything wrong. Did she need a hearing aid? Probably. But I definitely identified with her over the last few weeks. So take a moment to step back and laugh along with Gilda, Emily, and me. And be sure to have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

It’s Not About Us…Thank Goodness

There’s something compelling about reality television. Whether you’re watching My 600-lb Life or Married at First Sight, at least it’s not your life. You can sit back and get lost in someone else’s journey. Disconnect from your own issues as you watch a stranger struggle with theirs. Is that therapeutic? I don’t know. But what I do know is that it’s mindless television. And if you have a busy mind, one that likes to do a loop-de-loop through your own issues, it’s nice to focus on someone else’s troubles for a change.

Who Can You Tell?

Clearly, reality television is here to stay. But would you ever admit to watching it? Back in the day, before Lincoln was shot, TLC was created as The Learning Channel. I remember that first season. Very educational. And Bravo, as the name implies, was all about high culture. Opera, ballet, and the like. But over time, both channels morphed into reality only. As low-brow as you could go. It seems Americans prefer minding other people’s business instead of engaging in the greater art forms. Hey, no judgment here. Soon, ABC, NBC, and CBS jumped into the fray. I may not be a fan of The Housewives or Survivor, but I get how engaging the shows can be. Deception. High jinx. Ruined friendships. A scandal or two. What’s there not to like? As long as it isn’t happening in my house.

Genre Appeal

Personally, I’m all in on the romance reality shows. Yes, I admit to tuning into ABC’s The Bachelor. And lately, I’ve been watching Netflix’s Love is Blind. There’s something compelling about young adults falling in love. Do I expect any of it to last? Heck, no. But I like seeing the mating dance in action. But then, I don’t write romance. If I did, maybe I wouldn’t want to watch it. Instead, my work is based on family dysfunction. That’s where I come from and so that’s what I know. I can hear my mother now: Don’t tell them that. It’s not true. Uh, yeah. It is. We’re one-hundred percent dysfunctional. Every day, all year long. And trust me, when you’re living it, you don’t want to watch it. But please don’t tell anyone. It’ll be our little secret.

Now for Something a Little Extra!

This month, we’re participating in a contemporary fiction giveaway. This is your opportunity to grab a free e-book of Boca by Moonlight. Now that’s a sweet deal for July. So until we meet again, stay safe and enjoy the summer. See you in August!

Car Dealerships…I Love the Donuts!

This week, the air conditioning in my car died. Living in the desert, you absolutely need AC. Just ask the poor cacti out in the heat. It gets mighty hot in Phoenix. Within minutes, you can fry an egg on your forehead. Isn’t that a silly image?

The Dealership

Nothing makes me feel more like a patsy than taking my car to the dealership for service. Oh sure, I love the free coffee and donuts. I’ve even been known to wrap a second donut in a napkin (shhh…don’t tell anyone) and take it home. But nothing in life is truly free, and certainly not those donuts. They come with a hefty price tag. The cost of my car repair. And as I stuff my face with donuts, I realize all the sugar is probably not helpful for clear decision-making. If anything, I’m the fatted calf being led to the car repair slaughter. Moooooo!

How Much for a New House? I Meant…Hose.

It seems the folks at the dealership speak their own language. Let’s call it “car talk”. Strange words pop up in every sentence. Compressor, combustion chamber, converter, throttle plate. I recognize the word “hose”, nodding as if I have a degree in mechanical engineering, chemical engineering, or bicycle repair (what do you mean a bicycle doesn’t have a hose?). Yes, I understand modern cars are computerized. That they require the mechanic to be specially trained to work on them. And yes, I recognize all the repairs related to the AC system must be completed. Fine. I’ll just leave my wallet with the receptionist and pray my credit limit is sufficient to cover the repairs. So far, it all makes perfect sense. I think.

Why is Everyone Smiling?

It’s hard to resent service professionals who are so darn friendly. They shake my hand and call me sir. They promise to keep me updated on all repairs. That’s nice. I’m being treated with respect; looked upon as an intelligent consumer. Now, when does that ever happen? I can’t help but wonder if they’re specially trained so even as they’re picking my pocket, I’m feeling cheerful. After all, I’m going to pay for the repairs no matter how steep the price. And I haven’t a clue what the hell they’re talking about. Still, it’s an all-around pleasant experience. I smile when they mention the satisfaction survey they’ll be sending. I’m happy to participate as I quickly turn, heading back to the lounge where I’d been eyeing a chocolate donut. I haven’t tried that one yet. Time to find out if it has a cream filling.

And Now for Something a Little Extra!

This week, I’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Ilsa Manning. Ilsa has her own perfume business of which she donates 5% of the net proceeds to a girl’s charity. Perfume with a Purpose is really a wonderful concept and I hope you’ll take a moment to check it out.

Also, in case you’re wondering, I’ve been hard at work on a new novel. I’ll be sharing more about the novel over the coming months. So, until, the next time we meet, enjoy June!

I Feel Fine…I Think

My recent physical is now well behind me. I thought it a good idea to get a baseline once I moved into a new age category. If you fill out surveys, you’ll know the age bracket that I’m referring to. It’s the last one on the list. Usually displayed with a “+” sign as if any age past it really isn’t worth mentioning. It’s not a good feeling.

What’s Your Blood Pressure?

I’ve been concerned lately about my blood pressure so I purchased a blood pressure monitor through Amazon. The problem is that I get nervous as soon as I put the cuff on my arm. I don’t want to have hypertension. I don’t want to take medication. And I don’t want to keep the blood pressure monitor. The lesson? Hypochondriacs should not be allowed to own medical equipment.

My Vitals

Stroke and cancer run in my family. Sadly, our women tend to check out early. And who can blame them? The men aren’t easy to get along with. And trust me when I say that there’s nothing sadder than a group of men left to their own devices. It’s like belonging to a collection of feral cats. No one gets along. And there’s no way to unite them. Whatever hope there was, lies out in the cemetery. And the last time I checked, holiday meals aren’t served on headstones.

Male Cousins

I have quite a few male cousins who’ve died young. But no one in the family is willing to talk about how they actually died—as if the truth might hurt someone’s feelings. If information is power, in our family, secrecy reigns supreme. I’ve left clear instructions that if anything happens to me, I want the gritty details included in my obituary. And any holiday cards, too. That ought to add a bit of cheer to the season!

Last Laugh

My financial planner has projected that my funds need to last me through the age of 92. I think he’s lost his mind. If I clear 85, I’ll consider it a win. Though 100 might be nice. That will give me plenty of time to finish my fifth book which I’m currently working on. Is the writing going slowly? You bet. I’d like to say, it’s because I’m savoring every moment. But who am I kidding? The truth is, being an author is challenging when you’re a perfectionist. Each day, I wonder if I’ll live long enough to see this next book finished. There are just so many hurdles one can manage. Right now, writing the first draft is just about my limit. Has anyone seen my blood pressure cuff?

Something Extra

This month, I’m participating in a Women’s Fiction promotion. If you haven’t had a chance to read After the Fall, this is your chance to check out the first two chapters. Just click here and take a look at all the wonderful authors participating. And until we meet again, have a terrific April. Happy reading!

Is it Time to Get A Life?

If you’ve ever looked up and said, “what am I doing, what time is it, where am I?”, then you just might be engrossed in social media; lost somewhere between the dog videos (I love them) and teens tap dancing to swing tunes from the big band era. Darn, those kids know how to move.

New To Social Media?

Until recently, I’ve never really been a fan of social media. Sure, I’m on Facebook I mean, Meta. Though no one outside of the IT Industry uses the name Meta no matter how much they promote it. I have both an author and a personal account but mostly scroll through Facebook to keep up with friends and family. And based on what I’m seeing, I know a lot of happy, well-traveled people, who love to eat. I’m glad. I like to travel (to the gym or the grocery store) and I love to eat. But as far as being happy, well, I’m a Capricorn (the goat). Happiness is not really my natural state. I tend to run a bit grumpy. Not necessarily on the outside. The exterior presents as okay. All the roiling is happening under the surface. But if you’re a happy Capricorn, let me know. I’d like to learn your secret.

Twitter

I’m also on Twitter. That’s a different crowd. Very political. People who are dissatisfied with the status quo. They expect the world to be a better place. They’re kind of suspicious, angry, and judgemental. On Twitter, everyone speaks their truth (whether it’s true or not). It reminds me of attending a party when you don’t quite mesh with the other guests. Strong opinions are expressed and folks may not get along. If you enjoy that level of mental stimulation, you’d love Twitter.

Now, we’re talking business! See how I did that little wordplay? LinkedIn is mainly targeted at the business world. Need a new job? Want to network with other professionals in your industry? Have a bit of business wisdom to promote? You’re in the right place with LinkedIn. As a writer, editors are often reaching out to connect. Do you suppose that’s because they’ve read my blog and think I could use some guidance? Well, bless their hearts.

Instagram

And then, we have Instagram. My personal favorite. Time whizzes by when I’m on Instagram. Why do I love Instagram? Because the posts are so darn creative. Talking dogs (who doesn’t love a talking dog?), marital advice (though not from the dogs), funny children, dancing parrots, oh…I can’t explain it all. But when I’m doing nothing in particular, Instagram is so engaging. And the more videos you follow, the more videos appear in your feed. So, there’s always something better as you scroll.

And the Problem Is?

I’m sorry. Did I say there was a problem? No problem. I just think that when something shows up in your life that you enjoy, it’s worth sharing. Just be careful about the time. You can really get sucked in. Which is why I’m staying away from TikTok. After all, I need some spare time to keep up with my writing.

And Now, for Something A Little Extra!

I’m happy to announce that Brenda W. and Cheryl W. were the two winners of our March 2023 Giveaway of David Sedaris’ latest books: Happy-Go-Lucky and A Carnival of Snackery. We had over 180 entries, and to be fair, the winners were selected randomly by the KingSumo software. Thank you to everyone who participated. And to those of you who didn’t win, there’s always next time. And there will be a next time.

Also this month, we’re participating in a short story promotion. So this is the moment to grab a free ebook of What’s That Growing in my Sour Cream? The free ebook is available by clicking here. Until we next connect, have a great April!

Out of the Mouths of Babes!

The other day, I was standing in line at the grocery store to check out. Ahead of me, an adorable 5-year-old boy was with his Mom. As the Mom gathered her cart and started to leave, the little boy turned and shouted to everyone in earshot, I love you. All the adults were instantly charmed. There were smiles everywhere. And then, in unison, we all said back, we love you. It was an amazing and momentary bond among strangers. This made me wonder. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if instead of saying goodbye we just offered an enthusiastic, I love you? What could be the harm?

Shalom

The idea isn’t so far-fetched. Shalom is used as a substitute for hello and goodbye by Israelis. It means peace and wellness. Then, there’s aloha in Hawaiian which translates to love and respect. So, there’s really no reason why I love you might not work instead of hello and goodbye.

But I Don’t Love Everybody!

Well, of course not. And there’s the rational adult mind denying the charm and wonder of telling other people, even strangers, that we care about them. Now, what could be the downside? Do we think people will follow us home? Okay. I guess some nut job might. But as spiritual beings, wouldn’t it just feel great to let our guard down and express love for the human race?

Maybe, 5-Year Olds Know the Secret

They say that out of the mouths of babes springs truth. Well, maybe that little boy knows something we could all benefit from. Now, I’m not in the habit of listening closely to children. But Art Linkletter (does anyone remember him?) made a career out of it. He had this show, Kids Say the Darndest Things. He’d pepper the kids with worldly questions just to hear their answers. Too cute. Tiffany Haddish has an updated version. Here’s a clip of her interviewing Ellington. It’s guaranteed to make you smile.

Children Have Never Been My Thing

Truth is, I’ve never been keen on kids. Is that a terrible thing to admit? But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize the beauty a child can add to your life. As long as you’re not responsible for getting them to bed, helping with homework, and keeping them clean and fed, I can see that children are a sweet value add. Oh, you lucky parents and grandparents. But as an Uncle, I love the little ones in my life. Joy without responsibility. That’s a pretty terrific winning combination.

Please Share Your Stories

If you get a chance, I’d love to hear the wisdom your precious ones have offered through the years. Don’t hold back. Let me know. I’m all ears and eager to learn. Out of the mouths of babes!

And Now For Something A Little Extra!

This month, we’ll be participating in an AuthorsXP ebook giveaway. You can win a free subscription to Audible and a copy of my second novel After the Fall. Entering is easy. Click here to check it out. And have a wonderful rest of February. Happy reading!

Calorie Counting: Is This Why I Learned to Add?

Let’s agree at the start. Nothing ruins a meal faster than calorie counting. But then, if you follow my blog, this should be no surprise. Because I like to eat. And so I especially hate seeing the calorie count on a restaurant menu. No matter what I want to order, the calorie count always seems too high. But what if we leave out the butter? Leave out the cream. Eliminate the pasta. Hmm. Maybe, I should just order a hard-boiled egg and a glass of water. Is that on the menu?

Food Is Meant to be Enjoyed

When I go out to dine, I want to enjoy my meal. Not be reminded to watch my weight. That should be the exclusive purview of the doctor’s office and the snickering nurse who jots down my weight when I step on the scale. What do you mean I’m ten pounds heavier than last year? Haven’t you heard of Covid? Clearly, the stress of the pandemic has forced me to retain water. Which by the way, is very eco-friendly considering we live in the Arizona desert. What do you mean retaining water isn’t the same if you’re not a camel? Well, I beg to differ.

Tricks on the Scale

I’ve tried a few tricks to keep the needle on the scale from bouncing too high. By the way, holding in your gut doesn’t work. But removing shoes, wallet, phone, and anything else in your pockets will. And then, when you step on the scale, point a finger and say to the nurse, “Look. Over there.” That gives you enough time to hop off the scale, deduct ten pounds, and announce your preferred weight. The same weight you use when renewing your driver’s license. And who is the DMV to doubt your word? Heck, it’s not like your Mom works there.

Gluten-Free

Now, I totally get the need for gluten-free options. No one should suffer a bellyache because they can’t process wheat, rye, and barley. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m also suffering a bit of a bellyache after eating. But I’m guessing it’s more about portion size. Years ago, I learned that a serving of protein should be about the size of your fist. Based on the current price of meat, that seems all anyone can afford. Which of course makes following that recommendation manageable. As for vegetables, the sky’s the limit. Oh goody. That clears up that worry.

Now for a Little Something Extra!

This month, we’re offering a free excerpt of Boca by Moonlight through a joint promotion with over 40 other authors called Stories of Choice and Change. If you have a moment, please check it out. It’s a great way to get a sneak peek at the novel and meet other authors too. Until we next connect, enjoy the month of January!