Whimsical Observations on Life

I’m one of those people who hates to buy a new car. The fact is, I don’t like spending large sums of money. On my husband —  sure. The dog — let’s do it.  On me — not so much.

Lease

And I’m too practical to lease. I tend to buy and hold, fully depreciating the investment. Plus, leasing would require that I walk into a showroom every few years. And I don’t like showrooms. The sales staff are too attentive. Asking all sorts of personal questions and offering me coffee at every turn. I wouldn’t mind a big glazed donut — but they don’t offer those. The baked goods are reserved for the suckers in the service area.

Car Blind

A close friend recently said that I have lousy taste in cars. I should be offended, but all cars do look alike to me. I can tell an SUV from a Sedan. A sports car from a luxury model. I’m not stupid. I just can’t tell one SUV from the other. Inside and outside, they all seem the same.

Detroit Car Show

You’d think after living in Detroit for so many years, I’d have developed a passion for cars. Well, I haven’t.

I regularly attended the North American International Auto Show in January. That’s big in Detroit. I remember it being so darn cold outside. The cars — left little impression. The truth is, there was too much new car shine going on. Too many bright lights, cars spinning, large crowds and music blaring overhead. The whole thing left me dizzy and exhausted.

To me, Pepto-Bismol ranks up there in the kiddie toolkit alongside Calamine lotion for poison ivy. No one over the age of twelve ever seems to need the stuff. At least no one I know. But if you travel overseas, it’s always wise to pack Pepto-Bismol in your luggage. A lesson I recently learned on a trip to Asia.

Kid Stuff  

Pepto-Bismol even looks like it’s made for kids.

What other medication comes in bubble-gum pink? The packaging is so unique that Moms can easily find it in a cluttered medicine cabinet.

Go Mom

And in our gender sensitive world, I’m a little surprised that the pink color has stuck. Pink might be okay for Sally … but shouldn’t Billy’s version be blue? Which of course reminds me of something silly that Phyllis Shlafly might have said in her opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment. After all, she viewed gender in very specific terms.

Are those Peppers?

So there we were. Far away from home. A wonderful meal in a local Vietnamese restaurant. And without thinking, I poured the entire serving of hot sauce into my fish Pho. That’s a beef bouillon soup with a lot of noodles topped with fried fish sticks (hey – I’m just trying to get the imagery – if you want accuracy – consult an Iron Chef).

My first spoonful introduced a hot pepper. My mouth, eyes, and gut, were instantly on fire.

It seems my spouse and I are unable to manage a simple dinner party for 6 without burning something.

The other night, it was the garlic bread. I had made a lasagna and salad. Even baked a cake.  Friends had gathered. Ella was singing softly in the background. The lights were dim. Everyone and every thing seemed perfect as it always does when the lights are low.

People were mingling and laughing. I was happy. A glass of red wine in my hand and things were smoothly underway. I was moments away from the table, and even with one oven, I’d managed to pull together a great meal.

It was quite a relief.

You see, for me, entertaining at home isn’t exactly a joy. There’s no Ina Garten, Giada, or even Paula Deen in my kitchen. It’s more – Fred Willard meets The Gong Show (forgive me for the dated references but that is just how it is).

First, I have to check all the expiration dates. If you don’t cook a lot, Costco may not be the ideal place to shop. Fearful of poisoning friends, I pitch anything that seems too old, but not after a lot of back and forth wondering whether it really matters if you are within weeks of an expiration date. Sadly, that happens a lot. But good sense prevails. I always toss.

I also hate cooking. Some people find it relaxing. I think there should be a special lock down unit for those folks. All I ever see is a mounting pile of dirty pots and pans. I’ve even become an expert at using tin foil to line everything to ease the clean-up. Still, someone has to wash and put everything away.