faith Archives | Brad Graber | The Intersect

Why Is There So Much Movie Violence?

It’s a perfectly lovely summer day in Phoenix and I’ve just returned from the movies where we go to retreat from the heat once we’ve dried off from our dip in the pool. But today, I feel rattled, unnerved, unsettled. We’ve just seen a supposed comedy masquerading as an action picture. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a wuss. It’s amazing what they can create on film with special effects. The Titanic sinking. New York City flooded. San Francisco imploding. I get it. They’re spectacles for sure. But what is it with all the violence? Human beings being mowed down in a bloody shooting spree. Body parts chopped off, flying through the air. The continuous violence goes on and on. And that’s just the previews.

The Three Stooges

When I was growing up, violence was limited to The Three Stooges. Three knuckleheads who couldn’t stop hitting each other. Yes, we laughed. Pies in the face, okay. Punches to the gut, poking at the eyes, followed by a hammer to someone’s head? Looking back, I wonder why more kids didn’t kill their siblings using The Three Stooges as a defense. But Moe whacked Curley with an iron skillet. Larry never cried when his head was slammed into the wall. Moe seemed fine after he fell out the window.

I Know the Violence Isn’t Real

Back then, it all seemed innocent. It was done for comic relief. But today, the violence feels intensely real. There’s nothing comedic about it. Your body tenses up. It’s like being on a thrill ride, except it goes on and on. Am I in the minority on this? Surely Hollywood isn’t in the business of making movies no one wants to see. They’re merely feeding the box office. Or are they?

Is Our Society Out of Control?

Anyone who wants to get all revved up can just turn to the news or social media to quicken their heartbeat. When I go to the movies, I’d prefer to escape. A love story would be nice. A romcom to make me laugh and remember how wonderful falling in love can be. Maybe, a movie that sparks the intellect. How about a thoughtful biography? Or a tale of friendship? Honestly, I’m already exhausted from the rancor that is our daily diet in America. I’d like to give my fight or flight response a rest. Wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t most Americans?

Lessons I’ve Learned from My Dog About Aging

April 14, 2018
Brad Graber
Growing Older

Every morning at 6:00 a.m., Charlie, our miniature apricot poodle, stands up on the bed and does a brisk shake. It’s time to get up and walk the neighborhood. And even though I sometimes want to stay in bed longer, I’ve come to understand that my dog has a lot to share about growing older. He’s already half-way through his fourteenth year, and so, he knows about aging. I only need to pay a bit of attention to incorporate the lessons.

Keep Moving

Charlie walks best in the cool morning hours. And though he might be stiff with the first few steps, he moves amazingly well once he gets going. Walking remains an important part of his day even though he might stumble on an occasional curb. But he doesn’t give up.

Adapt to Your Limitations

There was a time when Charlie insisted on playing ball every morning. He’d leap and spin, barking and growling enthusiastically. He still plays, but it’s limited to one or two tugs on a dog toy. The joy remains though the activity level is diminished. He indulges in life within the context of his abilities.

If this Bush Doesn’t Work Out—Find Another

Charlie seeks out the best information the neighborhood has to offer. He carefully selects where to make his mark and when to leave his scent. Life is all about choices. Charlie knows the excitement of life is often found at the next bush.

Not Every Meal Needs to be Devoured

There was a time when Charlie ate his meals with gusto. Those days are over. He now eats with a lot of encouragement. Sitting next to him on the floor has become the routine. Often, we hand feed the first few bites to get him going. Sometimes, we even skip a meal because he’s just not interested.

Love Can be Expressed in Many Ways

Pleasure is all about eye contact. When you’re in Charlie’s company, he’s memorizing every detail of your face. In bed at night, Charlie is a regular hot water bottle. He enjoys looking into our eyes as he gets his nighttime scratch. Then, he plants himself next to you and doesn’t move much until the early morning hours.

How Would You Rate Your Doctor?

March 24, 2018
Brad Graber
Healthcare

This week, the 2018 Top Doctors of Phoenix arrived in the mail. Double the thickness of the regular Phoenix Magazine—this sumptuous, four-color special edition is a healthcare bonanza. Every healthcare company in the metropolitan area seems to have paid for advertising space. Insurers, hospitals, private practices, urgent care centers. An impressive compendium of smiling professionals eager to schedule your next appointment.

Top Doctors?

So how do they select the top doctors? The answer—by surveying other doctors. In essence, physicians complete forms indicating whom they believe to be the best physicians. Then, the magazine confirms that each of the recommended physicians is board certified. Finally, names are cross-referenced against the state’s records to confirm that there hasn’t been any disciplinary action in the last 5 years. Hmm.

Surveys? Board-Certified? Disciplinary Action?

During the course of my career, I don’t recall many physicians being interested in completing surveys. For one, their time is absorbed by seeing patients. Physician offices are chaotic, busy places. The focus is mostly on the management of the physician’s schedule—making sure that patients are being seen in a timely fashion. Board certification? Well, it sounds great—but it’s really the standard. Hospitals only affiliate with board-certified doctors or those young physicians on their way to board-certification. The same is true for insurance companies. And as for disciplinary action, a physician has to do some fairly outrageous stuff before they find themselves in that quandary. This certainly has nothing to do with ensuring quality.

So How Do You Measure Quality?

Let’s take orthopedic surgery. If you need a knee replacement, you should know how many knees that physician does each year. You should be concerned about the infection rate, readmissions to the hospital, and even the mortality rate. Those statistics offer real insight into a physician’s quality of care.

Electronic Medical Records

In the age of EMRs, that is exactly the kind of data that is sourced. Healthcare and insurance executives have access to it so that they can effectively manage reimbursement from the Federal Government. But to the consumer, such data remains proprietary. So, until quality data is readily available, instead of looking through a magazine, you’re probably better off asking your trusted primary care physician for a referral to a specialist. And as for the magazine? Well, it still looks good on the coffee table.

Wouldn't You Really Rather … ?

auto car cadillac oldtimer e1501425093820 - Wouldn't You Really Rather ... ? I finally bought a new car. It nearly killed me. I know that for many people purchasing a new car is a thrill, but to me, it’s a journey to the land of confusion. Too many models….too many choices. And to be honest, if you haven’t guessed it by now, I’m not a car person. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m not much for hitchhiking or taking mass transit. You really can’t do either living in Phoenix. But today’s cars all seem to look alike. I guess I’m what you might call car blind.

Do I need to pick a color too?

I test drove a lot of vehicles over a number of months (please don’t gasp—I already admitted I don’t know what I’m doing). It was an odd experience. Mostly because the person sitting next to me (the salesman/woman) was a total stranger. Someone whose very livelihood depended on my decision. And being a sensitive guy, I had a gnawing feeling that if I didn’t buy the car, their job might be on the line. So, I made nervous small talk and hoped against hope that I would like the car. But I mostly didn’t.

I’m a throw back

I guess I’m really not much for the 2017 models. I like old things. Turner Classic Movies, pies made from scratch, antiques, and yes … car museums with Studebakers and Packards. For some reason, I have a yen to own a big, shiny, gas guzzler from the 30s and 40s. I get that they weren’t good for the environment, lacked safety features, and probably drove like tanks. But anything less seems to be—well—less. That’s how you see the world when you’re car blind.

Betrayed by a Fortune Cookie

pexels photo 76093 e1482515362114 - Betrayed by a Fortune Cookie Last Saturday, we had lunch at a local Chinese restaurant in my home town of Phoenix.

Being born and raised in New York City, and after living in San Francisco for ten years, I find there tends to be a difference in style between the two Coasts when it comes to preparation. Luckily in Phoenix, you can find Chinese food that caters to either palate.

East Coast Chinese tends to be very Americanized – chow mein, egg foo young, heavy sauces, crispy noodles, sweet and sour everything. West Coast tends to be lighter with lots of seafood options and gentle flavors. East Coast reminds me of my childhood – West Coast – my once insurmountable Mill Valley mortgage.

But both Coasts share one thing in common. The check always arrives with a Fortune Cookie.

Though once disputed by the Hong Kong Noodle Company in Los Angeles, the Courts found in 1983 that the fortune cookie was an early invention of a San Francisco bakery. Should you journey to San Francisco, you can see the cookies being made at the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory – part of a walking tour which includes Chinatown.

So there we were at China Chili (East Coast style) in Phoenix. The meal all but consumed and along comes the check. We both reached for our fortune cookies. Jeff, read his aloud. Typical fortune about a bright future. I opened mine and stared at the slip of paper – “Faith answered. No one was there.”

I’ve heard of a bad meal but not a bad fortune cookie. I almost insisted on a do-over as I watched Jeff fall apart with laughter.

Now I realize a writer needs more than faith to be successful, but somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I’d hoped faith in future success would be an advantage.

Next time, I think I’ll ask for the almond cookie.