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Is Disappointment Just A Part of Life?

For those of you who’ve been reading my blog, you know that last month I had surgery on my right ear to remove a tumor that had rendered me totally deaf. I was already deaf in my left as a result of a childhood illness. The doctor had promised a complete recovery—and that my hearing would be “better than ever before”. But what he didn’t say at the time was that it would take three months for the hearing in my right ear to fully return. On the bright side, I can hear now. But I’m only at 50% of my former hearing. I guess sometimes, our expectations exceed what nature has planned. Of course, it makes sense that my ear would need time to heal. And I’m certainly grateful we live in a world where this kind of surgery can be done. But to be honest, the disappointment over the immediate results has sent me into a funk. And I’m sure that I’m not the only patient who ever went through a procedure hoping to be quickly back to 100% once it was over.

Buck Up

You’d think it would be hard to wallow in self-pity when you’ve had such a good life. Well, take it from me. It’s not hard. That said, there are things I’ve learned through all this, and so, in the spirit of sharing, I thought I’d pass them along:

  1. One way to view a personal struggle is to consider it a character-building moment. How we manage through the experience says a lot about who we are. You can choose to handle it well or poorly. I assure you, handling it poorly doesn’t make anyone feel any better. Certainly not you, and definitely not your family.
  2. When frustrated, it’s not a bad idea to challenge yourself to a game. For me, I’ve searched for other ways to say “what”—a word I say a lot these days. So far, I’ve come up with “excuse me”, “pardon”, and when I’m in the mood to laugh, “hey” with a palm held up to my ear like an old codger. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know.
  3. Everyone has their problems. But if you’re lucky, when you face a challenge, others will jump in and share it with you. I’ve been lucky. So many people have gone out of their way to wish me well. Those kind words have meant a lot.
  4. When it comes to your health, you have to be your own best advocate. Sadly, I allowed my hearing loss to go on way too long before finally connecting with a surgeon. Had I pressed for a CT Scan sooner, the tumor would have been found earlier. Live and learn.
  5. Every day is a gift. But that gift can either be a lump of coal or a lovely bouquet. It all depends on what you’re expecting. So try, if you can, to remain positive. I hear it’s worth the effort.

And Now, Something Extra!

This month, I thought I’d share a video of Gilda Radner as Emily Litella from Saturday Night Live. Emily always seemed to get everything wrong. Did she need a hearing aid? Probably. But I definitely identified with her over the last few weeks. So take a moment to step back and laugh along with Gilda, Emily, and me. And be sure to have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I Feel Fine…I Think

My recent physical is now well behind me. I thought it a good idea to get a baseline once I moved into a new age category. If you fill out surveys, you’ll know the age bracket that I’m referring to. It’s the last one on the list. Usually displayed with a “+” sign as if any age past it really isn’t worth mentioning. It’s not a good feeling.

What’s Your Blood Pressure?

I’ve been concerned lately about my blood pressure so I purchased a blood pressure monitor through Amazon. The problem is that I get nervous as soon as I put the cuff on my arm. I don’t want to have hypertension. I don’t want to take medication. And I don’t want to keep the blood pressure monitor. The lesson? Hypochondriacs should not be allowed to own medical equipment.

My Vitals

Stroke and cancer run in my family. Sadly, our women tend to check out early. And who can blame them? The men aren’t easy to get along with. And trust me when I say that there’s nothing sadder than a group of men left to their own devices. It’s like belonging to a collection of feral cats. No one gets along. And there’s no way to unite them. Whatever hope there was, lies out in the cemetery. And the last time I checked, holiday meals aren’t served on headstones.

Male Cousins

I have quite a few male cousins who’ve died young. But no one in the family is willing to talk about how they actually died—as if the truth might hurt someone’s feelings. If information is power, in our family, secrecy reigns supreme. I’ve left clear instructions that if anything happens to me, I want the gritty details included in my obituary. And any holiday cards, too. That ought to add a bit of cheer to the season!

Last Laugh

My financial planner has projected that my funds need to last me through the age of 92. I think he’s lost his mind. If I clear 85, I’ll consider it a win. Though 100 might be nice. That will give me plenty of time to finish my fifth book which I’m currently working on. Is the writing going slowly? You bet. I’d like to say, it’s because I’m savoring every moment. But who am I kidding? The truth is, being an author is challenging when you’re a perfectionist. Each day, I wonder if I’ll live long enough to see this next book finished. There are just so many hurdles one can manage. Right now, writing the first draft is just about my limit. Has anyone seen my blood pressure cuff?

Something Extra

This month, I’m participating in a Women’s Fiction promotion. If you haven’t had a chance to read After the Fall, this is your chance to check out the first two chapters. Just click here and take a look at all the wonderful authors participating. And until we meet again, have a terrific April. Happy reading!

Is it Time to Get A Life?

If you’ve ever looked up and said, “what am I doing, what time is it, where am I?”, then you just might be engrossed in social media; lost somewhere between the dog videos (I love them) and teens tap dancing to swing tunes from the big band era. Darn, those kids know how to move.

New To Social Media?

Until recently, I’ve never really been a fan of social media. Sure, I’m on Facebook  I mean, Meta. Though no one outside of the IT Industry uses the name Meta no matter how much they promote it. I have both an author and a personal account but mostly scroll through Facebook to keep up with friends and family. And based on what I’m seeing, I know a lot of happy, well-traveled people, who love to eat. I’m glad. I like to travel (to the gym or the grocery store) and I love to eat. But as far as being happy, well, I’m a Capricorn (the goat). Happiness is not really my natural state. I tend to run a bit grumpy. Not necessarily on the outside. The exterior presents as okay. All the roiling is happening under the surface. But if you’re a happy Capricorn, let me know. I’d like to learn your secret.

Twitter

I’m also on Twitter. That’s a different crowd. Very political. People who are dissatisfied with the status quo. They expect the world to be a better place. They’re kind of suspicious, angry, and judgemental. On Twitter, everyone speaks their truth (whether it’s true or not). It reminds me of attending a party when you don’t quite mesh with the other guests. Strong opinions are expressed and folks may not get along. If you enjoy that level of mental stimulation, you’d love Twitter.

LinkedIn

Now, we’re talking business! See how I did that little wordplay? LinkedIn is mainly targeted at the business world. Need a new job? Want to network with other professionals in your industry? Have a bit of business wisdom to promote? You’re in the right place with LinkedIn. As a writer, editors are often reaching out to connect. Do you suppose that’s because they’ve read my blog and think I could use some guidance? Well, bless their hearts.

Instagram

And then, we have Instagram. My personal favorite. Time whizzes by when I’m on Instagram. Why do I love Instagram? Because the posts are so darn creative. Talking dogs (who doesn’t love a talking dog?), marital advice (though not from the dogs), funny children, dancing parrots, oh…I can’t explain it all. But when I’m doing nothing in particular, Instagram is so engaging. And the more videos you follow, the more videos appear in your feed. So, there’s always something better as you scroll.

And the Problem Is?

I’m sorry. Did I say there was a problem? No problem. I just think that when something shows up in your life that you enjoy, it’s worth sharing. Just be careful about the time. You can really get sucked in. Which is why I’m staying away from TikTok. After all, I need some spare time to keep up with my writing.

And Now, for Something A Little Extra!

I’m happy to announce that Brenda W. and Cheryl W. were the two winners of our March 2023 Giveaway of David Sedaris’ latest books: Happy-Go-Lucky and A Carnival of Snackery. We had over 180 entries, and to be fair, the winners were selected randomly by the KingSumo software. Thank you to everyone who participated. And to those of you who didn’t win, there’s always next time. And there will be a next time.

Also this month, we’re participating in a short story promotion. So this is the moment to grab a free ebook of What’s That Growing in my Sour Cream? The free ebook is available by clicking here. Until we next connect, have a great April!

Out of the Mouths of Babes!

The other day, I was standing in line at the grocery store to check out. Ahead of me, an adorable 5-year-old boy was with his Mom.  As the Mom gathered her cart and started to leave, the little boy turned and shouted to everyone in earshot, I love you.  All the adults were instantly charmed. There were smiles everywhere. And then, in unison, we all said back, we love you. It was an amazing and momentary bond among strangers. This made me wonder. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if instead of saying goodbye we just offered an enthusiastic, I love you? What could be the harm?

Shalom

The idea isn’t so far-fetched. Shalom is used as a substitute for hello and goodbye by Israelis. It means peace and wellness. Then, there’s aloha in Hawaiian which translates to love and respect. So, there’s really no reason why I love you might not work instead of hello and goodbye.

But I Don’t Love Everybody!

Well, of course not. And there’s the rational adult mind denying the charm and wonder of telling other people, even strangers, that we care about them. Now, what could be the downside? Do we think people will follow us home? Okay. I guess some nut job might. But as spiritual beings, wouldn’t it just feel great to let our guard down and express love for the human race?

Maybe, 5-Year Olds Know the Secret

They say that out of the mouths of babes springs truth. Well, maybe that little boy knows something we could all benefit from. Now, I’m not in the habit of listening closely to children. But Art Linkletter (does anyone remember him?) made a career out of it. He had this show, Kids Say the Darndest Things. He’d pepper the kids with worldly questions just to hear their answers. Too cute. Tiffany Haddish has an updated version. Here’s a clip of her interviewing Ellington. It’s guaranteed to make you smile.

Children Have Never Been My Thing

Truth is, I’ve never been keen on kids. Is that a terrible thing to admit? But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize the beauty a child can add to your life. As long as you’re not responsible for getting them to bed, helping with homework, and keeping them clean and fed, I can see that children are a sweet value add.  Oh, you lucky parents and grandparents. But as an Uncle, I love the little ones in my life. Joy without responsibility. That’s a pretty terrific winning combination.

Please Share Your Stories

If you get a chance, I’d love to hear the wisdom your precious ones have offered through the years. Don’t hold back. Let me know. I’m all ears and eager to learn. Out of the mouths of babes!

And Now For Something A Little Extra!

This month, we’ll be participating in an AuthorsXP ebook giveaway. You can win a free subscription to Audible and a copy of my second novel After the Fall. Entering is easy. Click here to check it out. And have a wonderful rest of February. Happy reading!

 

Calorie Counting: Is This Why I Learned to Add?

Let’s agree at the start. Nothing ruins a meal faster than calorie counting. But then, if you follow my blog, this should be no surprise. Because I like to eat. And so I especially hate seeing the calorie count on a restaurant menu. No matter what I want to order, the calorie count always seems too high. But what if we leave out the butter? Leave out the cream. Eliminate the pasta. Hmm. Maybe, I should just order a hard-boiled egg and a glass of water. Is that on the menu?

Food Is Meant to be Enjoyed

When I go out to dine, I want to enjoy my meal. Not be reminded to watch my weight. That should be the exclusive purview of the doctor’s office and the snickering nurse who jots down my weight when I step on the scale. What do you mean I’m ten pounds heavier than last year? Haven’t you heard of Covid? Clearly, the stress of the pandemic has forced me to retain water. Which by the way, is very eco-friendly considering we live in the Arizona desert. What do you mean retaining water isn’t the same if you’re not a camel? Well, I beg to differ.

Tricks on the Scale

I’ve tried a few tricks to keep the needle on the scale from bouncing too high. By the way, holding in your gut doesn’t work. But removing shoes, wallet, phone, and anything else in your pockets will. And then, when you step on the scale, point a finger and say to the nurse, “Look. Over there.” That gives you enough time to hop off the scale, deduct ten pounds, and announce your preferred weight. The same weight you use when renewing your driver’s license. And who is the DMV to doubt your word? Heck, it’s not like your Mom works there.

Gluten-Free

Now, I totally get the need for gluten-free options. No one should suffer a bellyache because they can’t process wheat, rye, and barley. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m also suffering a bit of a bellyache after eating. But I’m guessing it’s more about portion size. Years ago, I learned that a serving of protein should be about the size of your fist. Based on the current price of meat, that seems all anyone can afford. Which of course makes following that recommendation manageable. As for vegetables, the sky’s the limit. Oh goody. That clears up that worry.

Now for a Little Something Extra!

This month, we’re offering a free excerpt of Boca by Moonlight through a joint promotion with over 40 other authors called Stories of Choice and Change. If you have a moment, please check it out. It’s a great way to get a sneak peek at the novel and meet other authors too. Until we next connect, enjoy the month of January!

Why is My Sponge So Darn Happy?

Some things in life simply defy explanation. Why does grout discolor? Why do spiders gather in our guestroom bathtub? And why, for goodness sake, is my sponge smiling? Yes. My sponge is smiling. Wait. Are you telling me that your sponge doesn’t smile? Well, we have to talk.

I Want to Learn How to Smile

Some of us are not natural smilers. I’m one of those people. I think it has to do with the muscles in my face. For me, smiling requires a focused effort. It’s not that I’m unhappy. Or, something hurts. Though you’d never know from the expression on my face. Whenever a photographer says smile, I admit to being confused. Aren’t I already smiling? And saying cheese doesn’t seem to help.

But I Love a Beautiful Smile

If you have perfectly white teeth, smiling is a wonderful thing. But for those of us with small mouths, and even smaller teeth, smiling should be arbitrary. Now, my husband Jeff has teeth like chicklets. When he smiles, the room lights up. It’s nice to see that smile in the morning. It’s a sign that the day is going well and I haven’t screwed up yet. There’s always time for that later.

Hey, Guy. What Are You Smiling At?

Growing up in New York City, you learn not to smile at strangers. It’s not that New Yorkers aren’t friendly. They are very friendly. Ask any New Yorker on the street a question, they’ll stop and help you out. But smiling randomly, well, that can be an invitation to trouble. I learned early on to avert my gaze and be grateful for my poker face. Especially when you’re riding the New York City subway system. If no one knows what you’re thinking, all is good.

And Then There’s My Sponge

Recently, I started to use a new kitchen sponge. I didn’t buy it. I think we swiped it from a Timeshare property we stayed at over the summer. Or maybe it came in the mail as a promo. Whatever. The point is, there’s a smiley face cut into the sponge. Think of a Halloween pumpkin. At first, I thought, this is going to be annoying. There’s this missing surface where the eyes and mouth are carved out. That can’t be helpful when cleaning up. But I was wrong. The sponge works great. And when you squeeze out the excess water, the sponge bounces back into a bright, joyful smile.

What’s That You Say?

Now, when I stand at the sink, I see this very happy sponge smiling at me. I know. You’re thinking, I’ve finally lost it. Well, I haven’t. It’s just whoever came up with the idea for the sponge was a genius. It’s a wonderful thing to see an inanimate object so happy. Especially when doing something as mundane as washing dishes. Yes. In our house, we wash the dishes before they go into the dishwasher. Crazy, huh? But that’s a blog for another day.

And Now, For Something a Little Extra!

I’ve been doing a lot of speaking lately to promote my novel Boca by Moonlight. So today, I thought I’d share an excerpt from the novel. I hope you take a few moments to check it out. And before I forget, here’s wishing you and your family the very best of the Holiday Season and a Happy & Healthy New Year. May these last days of December be filled with joy!

 

 

 

Zoom: When Can We Go Back to Face-to-Face Meetings?

I’ve participated in a lot of Zoom meetings over the past twelve months. Mostly, professional meetings with other writers. And though it’s a great way to connect, there is a downside. For one, Zoom projects your “live” image on the screen. This means you’re forced to look at yourself. And if the meeting goes on for an hour or more, that’s a lot of camera time. Of course, you can always change the viewing mode from “group” to “speaker”. But that doesn’t really help. Somehow, my eye always manages to track back to the little box with my name on it. Oh! There I am. The one slouching.

So How Do I Look?

By now, I should know the answer. Zoom is like sitting in front of a mirror. For some, that might be a good thing. For me? Not so much. And why would anyone ever want to do that? Well, it’s probably fine for the world’s most beautiful people. But none of them ever pops in on the screen when I hit “join with video”.  Not Brad Pitt. Not Brad Paisley. Not Bradley Cooper. Nope. Just me. Brad Graber. My face. And let me tell you—I can use a little bit of sun.

Is This The Right Angle?

There’s supposedly a lot you can do to improve the way you look on Zoom. Something about lighting and placement of the camera. I don’t bother with those details. Instead, I wonder if I have a good side. So I shift about, adjusting my laptop to try to get just the right angle. My grandmother used to say that some people look better from a distance. This makes me wonder if I should set my laptop on the other side of the room.  Hmm. Now there’s a thought.

Lift Your Head

I’ve noticed my head drooping halfway through any Zoom session. My mouth hangs open as if I’m about to ask a question. I’m not. I’m just getting drowsy. Surely no one would object if I took a snooze with my eyes open. Or would they? Instead, I blink hard and struggle to stay awake. It might be age—but I say it’s the Zoom Glow. Zoom is zooming me out. Like hypnosis. Did someone just ask me to quack like a duck? If they did, I probably would.

Fellow Zoomers

I’ve been impressed by my fellow Zoomers. Especially the women. They all look wonderful from my side of the desk. That is—when I’m not busy staring at myself. The women have particularly excellent posture. And amazing poise and manner. During one Zoom session, a pervert commandeered the screen. The Zoom was hacked. And for a minute or two, we were all shocked to watch an adult man do very adult things. Modesty prevents me from going into further detail.  Let’s just say that when I was a kid living in New York City, flashers were spotted around town. Now, they’ve upped their game. Welcome to the virtual world.

Now for Something Extra

This week we’re doing a special .99 cent ebook Amazon promotion for After the Fall through April 9th. If you haven’t had a chance to grab a copy of the ebook, this would be the time. And the good news is that the ebook has hit Amazon’s Best Seller List landing in the #10 spot. Of course, those rankings change by the moment. But I took a picture of it anyway. And finally, I may be a bit late, but I’d like to wish you and your family a Happy Easter and Passover. May we all gather together in a huge celebration when the pandemic is finally over. We can do it on Zoom!

 

Ten Tips To Make 2021 The Best Year Ever

Let’s face it. 2020 was no fun. So, as we think about 2021, here are some suggestions to  make things a bit brighter:

  1. Stop racing through the store like you’re on Supermarket Sweep (does anyone remember that game show?). If you’re wearing a mask, using hand sanitizer, and staying socially distant, you’re probably fine. Still not sure? Don’t shop on the weekend when it’s busy. And double-mask. It can’t hurt.
  2. Toilet paper is a wonderful product. But there’s only so much anyone needs. If you can’t pull your car into the garage—you probably have too much.
  3. Try to get out of the house. If the weather doesn’t permit, there’s always a good book, meditation, or a nap. And we all know that meditation leads to a nap. What? You really didn’t know?
  4. Cookies and cake are delicious. But maybe it’s time to bring fruits and vegetables back into our diets. You’ll feel better and with summer a few months away, you’ll get a head start on that beach body (and I’m not referring to the dead thing that washes up on the shore every July).
  5. Social distancing will one day be a thing of the past. So now’s the time to change your cell phone number and ditch those pesky relatives. If they can’t text you, they can’t find you. Win-win!
  6.  Embrace change. We have a new president with a new outlook. With any luck, we’ll all be vaccinated soon. Hopefully, before the next Covid mutation. Can you say, Ninja Mutant Warrior?
  7. Laugh when you can. When all else fails look in the mirror. It’s true. You look just like your mother. Now that should put a smile on your face (or send you screaming from the room).
  8. Aches and pains are part of life. They help remind us of what’s important. That we’re still here. Alive and kicking. Adding new meaning to the phrase, it hurts so good.
  9. Try to make pancakes at least once a week. Even if the batter isn’t great, you’ll love the syrup. I promise.
  10. Reading is a necessary form of self-love. We get to experience someone else’s life when we read. And anyone else’s life is probably more exciting than ours at the moment. So go ahead. Pick up a book. Escape.

Now A Little Something Extra!

This month, we’ll be participating in an ebook humor promotion along with other authors. It’s your opportunity to grab a free ebook of What’s That Growing in My Sour Cream? Please take a moment to check out the promotion. It’s a great time to be a reader!

Why Travel to Europe When You Can Just As Easily Take A Drive?

When I sat down to write this week’s blog, I kept thinking about how I’d like to travel overseas. Now for those who don’t know me, I’ve never been adventurous. Even as a kid, I disliked change, unless it was on the ground waiting to be picked up. A new restaurant? Will they have what I like? A new hotel? Will I be able to figure out how to turn on the shower? So, when it comes to traveling abroad, I can be downright crabby. I hate flying through the night. Who can get any sleep? And I’m not a fan of jet lag. It plays nasty tricks with one’s inner workings. Enough said.

A Change of Heart

But recently, I’ve found myself itching to be anywhere. Anywhere, but home. Especially troubling, when there is nowhere else to be. Don’t get me wrong. Our house is nice. I shouldn’t complain. But after a time, who wants to be sitting home? It really isn’t very interesting. How many closets can your reorganize? Heck no—I haven’t been doing that—but what else is there to do? Even television is boring. There is only so much of The Nanny that I can take (yes—it’s true—I have my limits on reruns). And more and more of the content on Netflix seems suspiciously British. Am I the only one who wonders why everyone is talking with an English accent? I guess I’m just growing impatient to be out and about, exercising the old hindquarters. And until the heat breaks in Phoenix (55 days so far of over 110-degree heat), we’re locked in. Trapped.

Arizona Great Outdoors

All this pent up demand has resulted in road trips. Own a car? You’re all set. Recently, we headed up to Bearazona (cute name) where you drive through an enclosed encampment of wild black bears. Considering the heat, and their heavy black coats, the bears were fairly incapacitated. And frankly, that’s how I like it. No one wants to have a 300-lb animal chasing after the car. Nature can be truly wonderful only at a safe distance. Another weekday, we did a driving tour through the Phoenix Zoo. Not much to see in the heat, but every now and then we had a glimpse of an exotic bird. Or was it a pigeon? Oh, just close your eyes and imagine. We’ve also checked out a number of Arizona’s abandoned ghost towns. To our disappointment, most were overrun by tourists. I bet the ghosts are pretty fed up with all the traffic.

Home Sweet Home

But if you are home, may I recommend a jigsaw puzzle? If you’re not insane yet, this will do the trick. There’s one on my dining room table right now. It’s supposed to be a picture of a car. At least, that’s the photograph on the box. Me? I’m not sure how all those tiny pieces will ever come together to create a car. You could say, the jigsaw puzzle is driving me crazy. Which these days, is not a very long road trip.

Added Bonus

And now, something a little special. If you love audiobooks, check out a free sample from After the Fall. The novel is available on iTunes and Audible. And remember to stay safe. Your health is precious and so are you!

 

Once Upon a Time, We Had Walter Cronkite

We used to have faith in America in the truth. Facts were facts and there was trust that our media was fair and accurate. I remember those days. We didn’t question what was being reported. No one wondered whether Walter Cronkite was lying. Back then, the news was about the facts—not opinion. What we heard and saw, we believed to be true.

Have Times Changed?

The mantra today for authors is to avoid politics. You’ll risk losing readers. No one needs to read the opinion of a fiction writer who spins make-believe. Then what about Steinbeck, Orwell, Baldwin, Sinclair, or Rand, to name but a few? Each held up a mirror to reveal an American truth. Isn’t that part of the reason why we read fiction?

Ear to the Ground

Stop long enough and you can hear conversations everywhere. Or can you? Friends and families no longer engage in political discussion. We’re trying to keep the peace. And most of us have reached the saturation point. We’re worn down. Isn’t this the real danger? We no longer debate. We can’t decipher “truth” from the noise because we can’t hear what is even being said. And when we do, we don’t believe it.

Is It Time to Issue A Cancellation Notice?

I’m tired of the back and forth. The blurring of the truth. The politicizing of the facts. Opinions that pass as news stories. Does one lie lead to a thousand? How many lies are okay? How many lies are too many? Isn’t lying enough of a reason to draw a line in the sand?

2021

As we look ahead to the New Year, I hope Americans can come together and heal. That’s my solemn wish. No matter which side we fall on, we work best when we work together. Even if we disagree, there is a way to do it amicably. Respectfully. We owe it to ourselves and the next generation to set an example. I hope we’ll do just that.

Added Bonus

This month, What’s That Growing in My Sour Cream? will be part of a Summer Laughs promotion. Take a moment to check it out. And please stay safe. Your health is so very important.

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