Calling David Sedaris: I’m Over Here

I’ve often fantasized that David Sedaris might agree to provide a blurb for my book because – well – he’s David Sedaris – an extremely successful author with a legion of fans – and – um – I’m not.

He’s such a clever, witty, sophisticated guy – I know he’d enjoy following my characters as they struggle with the issues of ageism, immigration reform and homophobia. I can almost hear him warmly saying “Brad, your book is brilliant. I wish I’d written it.”

Overnight, my sales would sky rocket.

But getting someone famous like Sedaris in my corner might prove a real challenge.

How many other authors must be competing for his endorsement? I’d bet his home in the Hamptons (I just made that up – I have no idea where he lives) is overrun with unsolicited manuscripts. Stacks everywhere. From cookbooks to modern fiction. Voices crying out to be heard. READ ME. PLEASE READ ME.

So how to get his attention?

1. I could buy a billboard in Times Square sporting the cover of my book and the headline in bright neon – Calling David Sedaris.
2. I could rent the Goodyear Blimp and fly it over the GLBTQ parade in LA – assuming he’d be in attendance – with a flowing banner – Calling David Sedaris.
3. I could place an advertisement in Publishers Weekly. By now, you know how it would read.

Or perhaps, I should write a simple letter that I can send through his publisher. Appeal to his kindness. Tell him a bit about myself and what inspired me to write The Intersect. Maybe send along a complimentary copy of the book. Who knows? That just might work.

Nah. The billboard in Times Square. That’s the trick.