The All You Can’t Eat Buffet

Buffets! You either love or hate them. Rows of delicious desserts. A beef carving station. Pasta and seafood. How could you go wrong? It all seems like a dream come true. So everyone, grab the nearest shovel. It’s time to eat.

Las Vegas

Vegas has the best buffets. Or maybe, they’re just the priciest. That allows the high-rollers to think that they’re getting something of value for free. Personally, I’ve never been disappointed with the food in Vegas. Only the crowds. At times, a buffet can feel like a busy bus station. Too crowded—with too many children. And I love children. Especially served with ketchup (forgive me—that’s strictly a buffet joke).

Cruise Ships

Once known for lavish Midnight Buffets, it seems that everyone who travels by ship these days can no longer stay up late.  Instead, ships provide an all-day buffet option so that you can opt out of the dining room. Or, in the case of large appetites, eat between meals. Personally, I love to nosh. And though I always resist, eventually, I find my way to the grub. How much food can I pile on my plate? That’s a secret I’ll take to the bottom of the sea. Which of course explains the old cruise ship motto: Our passengers arrive as guests but leave as cargo.

Germs

Have you ever noticed that not everyone using the restroom washes their hands? Well, I can’t speak for the ladies, but I can certainly comment on the men. And this, my dear friends, presents a major challenge to enjoying a buffet—common serving utensils. The best buffets should hand out disposable gloves. If you’re required to wear booties when entering an open house, then surely you should wear handsies (I just made that up) at a buffet. This eliminates any worry about those people who feel compelled to touch their nose while in line.

Are You Full Yet?

We seem to have the fewest nerve endings in our gut. Actually, that isn’t a scientific fact. Just my observation. Otherwise, we’d have a better sense of when we’re full. Which might be before we reach for that third helping. As someone who has overindulged from time to time, let me just say, it happens. And I suppose that is why God created the untucked shirt. Now if he/she could only do something about our waistbands. Oh well. Perhaps that’s the price for a good time!