What’s That Smell?
If you have sinus issues or allergies, then you know the effect intense fragrances can have. After living in California for a few years, I quickly learned the term “scent-free”. It’s very popular there. In public places, such as gyms, theaters, yoga studios, and restaurants, you might see a sign that requests patrons be free of colognes and the like. That has never been a problem for me. I don’t wear scents of any kind. I never could. Until I did.
Pepe LePew
It was one of those sales coupons that shows up in the mail. Come visit our department store and save money. And like a wandering fool, I wandered over to the men’s fragrance counter. There I was. Standing among a very handsome crowd of men and women. Purchasing all sorts of scents. I was overcome. Caught up in the moment. Soon, caught up in the scents.
Just a Light Spray
The gal behind the counter with the French accent promised me love and romance. Okay. Maybe that’s a stretch. She actually promised me 15% off on any men’s fragrance. The last time I’d tried a fragrance was—a long time ago. It was soap on a rope. Do they even make that anymore? I had to pitch it. My eyes burned. But now, I’m a full-grown adult man. Surely, a light scent couldn’t hurt. Some of my friends wear cologne. Mostly, they smell good. If any of my friends are reading this now—I meant great.
Instructions
She suggested something light. An eau de toilette. I’m not a sophisticated shopper. I’d think anything that includes the word toilet (which I can clearly see hiding in front of the extra t and e) would be a pass. Nonetheless, I agreed to try the toilette water. There’s that word again. Excuse me while I laugh.
Surprise
I sniffed one of the sample cards. And much to my surprise, the scent spoke to me. Brad, darling, you’re sophisticated, handsome, and full of essence. (The French gal at the counter kept mentioning the word essence—so I assumed some of it would rub off on me). I walked through a fine mist and waited for the scent to dissipate. Or burn off. Or whatever is supposed to happen. All I can say is, the fine mist was in my nostrils and mouth for the rest of the day. What had once smelled pleasant, now haunted me. I smelled myself everywhere I went. I couldn’t get away from myself. And after a hot shower, I still smelled that scent. Would I be forever marked? Known as Mr. Smelly Smell Smell. Trust me. I worried about it.
I’m Just Not the Type
I guess I’m just not the type for fancy colognes and the like. I’m more scratch and sniff. Like the family dog. So I will continue on with my scent-free lifestyle. And I will ignore the allure of smelling better. After all, I am what I am. Chocolate, peanut butter, mixed with a little steak. Let’s see them capture that scent at the fragrance counter.
Now for Something Extra!
From June 21st through June 30th, I’m participating in a new GLBTQ Pride promo with Booksweeps which will provide a chance to grab a free e-copy of After the Fall and other similarly themed books along with the potential to win an e-reader. If you get a moment, please check it out. It promises to be fun. And you just might win something!
