There’s No Need to Shout!
Every marriage has its problems. And no one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors. You’d hope that after thirty-three years of being together, including thirteen years of marriage, any real disagreements would have been amicably settled long ago. Still, if you pressed an ear at our front door these days, you’re bound to hear shouting. But it’s not because we’re fighting. You see, I’ve suddenly lost my hearing due to a tumor in what used to be my one good ear. I guess, life happens. Fate comes for us all. But what makes this so difficult is that I actually had the same tumor in the same ear when I was twenty-one. Back then, they removed it and saved my hearing. But the surgeon warned it might come back. Lucky me. The prodigal returns.
Peace & Quiet
It’s the strangest thing to shower and not hear the water running. Or the timer on the stove. Or the phone ringing. The world has become a quiet place. But hopefully, this is a brief interlude that a surgeon can fix. And though I’ve tried to reframe the experience as a character-building exercise, I’m afraid the situation might be permanent. At night, old terrors haunt my dreams. I’m alone. No one likes me. No one wants to talk to me. There’s no hope for me. Of course, all of this nonsense only happens at night. During the day, I’m surrounded by love and caring messages from friends. So much for a healthy subconscious!
What Can I Hear?
Not the television, radio, or my husband, Jeff. The poor guy has had to stand very close to make himself understood, which honestly, isn’t so terrible. He always smells nice. And I’ve even snuck a kiss or two. Besides, I don’t mind being the center of his attention. It’s good that he has to look at me when he speaks so that I can read his lips. No more chasing after him as he goes from room to room talking. His attention is focused. And so is mine. This reminds me of the powerful message from the play Our Town, by Thornton Wilder. The protagonist agonizes that in life we don’t ever really look at each other. We miss the beauty of our existence. Well, if your husband is deaf, you have no choice but to look at him when you speak. Which makes me kind of a lucky guy in our town.
What’s Next?
I will definitely need surgery. Hopefully, by the time you read this, the surgery will be scheduled. Am I scared? Sure. But, I somehow think things will be okay. And if not, then I guess it wasn’t meant to be. And whatever happens, some things are just out of our control. But when you’re a type A personality, it isn’t easy to surrender. But one thing I am grateful for, aside from Jeff and my wonderful friends. I still have my writing to fall back on. Lucky for me, I do my best work when it’s quiet!
And Now, A Little Something Extra!
This month, I thought I’d share the video of the screaming goat. A friend shared it with me and it made me laugh. In many ways, maneuvering through our healthcare system can be a frustrating experience. So this goat says a lot about how I’ve been feeling at times. I hope you’ll check him out and laugh as I did. And until we meet again, have a great September!
