We’ve had a lot of discussion in our house lately about the phrase I’m just saying. To be honest, I’ve come to use it quite a bit when something I’ve uttered hasn’t landed well. Believe it or not, that happens now and then. Sometimes more often than I care to admit. I’m just saying becomes the awkward default. The three words that you can toss out to try and save the day. Lessen the blow. Ease the tension.
So Why Use It At All?
Which of course has gotten me to thinking. Why would I even say I’m just saying? It’s already obvious that I’m the one speaking. Do I really think adding an I’m just saying will make everything magically alright? I must. At least based on how often I use it.
Top Reasons?
So what are the top reasons for employing this pesky phrase?
- To give the illusion of not being too vested in what I just said. Though of course, I am. Otherwise, why would I have even said it?
- To try to present as being flexible. Translation: I’m open to further discussion on the matter. Reality: Good luck getting me to change my mind.
- To fill that awkward silence when someone stares back in disbelief about what I’ve uttered. Perhaps an apology might be a better choice, but then, I’d have to humble myself and admit a mistake. Now there’s a challenge!
- To explain away that awful rant after someone has cut me off in traffic. No, I don’t really want them to rot in hell. Even if they failed to use their turn signal.
Own It
I believe it’s important to think before we speak. To remember that words can hurt. But when all else fails, a simple I’m just saying might lessen the blow. After all, it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump from it’s my opinion and it’s very true. I’m just saying.
I really am not a big fan of ‘I’m just sayin’. And by the way, in this case, I don’t think there is a ‘g’ at the end of saying. I agree with the idea of it implying one isn’t vested in whatever is said. But it goes further – almost to ‘it’s not my idea, so don’t shoot the messenger.’ Complete lack of ownership.
I think I’m a bit more cynical than you. Maybe it’s time for cocktails.
Cocktails? Okay. My treat.
As a professional linguist I have learned that certain fixed expressions are best understood from the context in which they are used and their intent rather than simply being the literal sum of the meaning of each word. In my limited experience, “I’m just sayin…” is just a snarky retort. As such, I hate it.
Yes, I see your point. I’ve been receiving quite a few emails today from readers who strongly object to the expression. I guess it won’t be appearing in my next novel. Or will it?
I actually don’t think I use it but now that you mention it, will have to do a little self-monitoring to see if I do.
It seems like an apology in one way, but taken in a different context it could be emphasizing what we’ve already said, as in, “I’m right! and I’m looking for your validation.”
Yes. It does sound like an attempt at an apology without actually apologizing. And it also sounds like a reiteration of the same opinion. I guess it depends on the tone of the voice and the pleading in the eyes. I’m glad you haven’t fallen victim to this very bad habit.